


With Just One Breath, I'm Locked In

by heartsdesire456



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Episode: s01e13 Morning Star, First Time, Light Angst, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Making Love, Porn With Plot, Romance, Sex Magic, Sexual Content, set after
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-17
Updated: 2016-07-17
Packaged: 2018-07-24 15:41:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7513921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartsdesire456/pseuds/heartsdesire456
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the events of the wedding and the debacle with Camille and Jace going off with Valentine, Magnus was exhausted. The last thing he expected after finally getting to bed that night was for Alec, who he was pretty sure a few hours ago had made up his mind to back out of anything with Magnus, to show up at his door with a clear intention to do nothing of the sort.</p>
            </blockquote>





	With Just One Breath, I'm Locked In

**Author's Note:**

> I hardly EVER write PWP but last night I watched episode 13 again and I've had "Close" by Nick Jonas stuck in my head for like 3 days (idk why, my brain does this sometimes, it's a weird place) and basically that made me write a fic where Alec shows up and has made up his mind to not let fear make him not go after what he wants with Magnus because, as the song says, "space was just a word made up by someone who's afraid to get too close" lmao.
> 
> Yeah, I did this at like 5am last night. I'm just now posting it because it was rife with errors since I wrote it half-asleep. 
> 
> (If you don't know the song, or even if you do, listen to it while reading this. It's very fitting, lmao)

Magnus had barely gotten in bed when there was a knocking at his door. He groaned, dragging himself out of bed, almost hoping it was someone there to hurt him just so he could take out his frustration on them. He had had a hell of a day. In barely over twenty-four hours, he’d gone from Alec kissing him in front of everybody and making his entire year to having everything derailed by Camille and then finishing out the night running into Circle members, having Alec second-guess the potential for a relationship, and using serious strength to wake up Jocelyn.

He was exhausted, both physically and emotionally, and he just wanted to be unconscious for a little while and ignore the way his heart was breaking after only just beginning to beat again all while living under the looming cloud of another round of Circle killings coming their way.

When he finally opened the door, however, his eyes widened slightly as he saw Alec standing there, a strange look on his face. “Alec?” he asked, stepping aside to let Alec in. “What’s wrong? Is it Jace?” he asked, knowing how badly Alec was hurting from having his parabatai AWOL like this. “Did something happen-“

Magnus didn’t get to finish his question, because the second Magnus shut the door and turned back to face Alec, Alec was in his space, lips clumsily claiming Magnus’s. Magnus’s heart stuttered and his brain went offline for a moment before he finally found the strength to pull away a few inches. “Alexander?” he asked in confusion, lips tingling as he fought to keep his eyes from flickering back down to Alec’s mouth again.

Alec’s big, strong hands were splayed on his lower back and hip, and Alec’s firm, strong body was pressed against his in ways that would’ve normally had Magnus swooning if he weren’t so confused. Alec swallowed visibly, eyes coming up to meet Magnus’s eyes, and Magnus could see the determination burning in them. “What you said earlier, in the hallways.” He stumbled over his words for a moment before clenching his jaw and then letting out a breath as he continued. “I realized something, after you had gone. Izzy had to go talk to our parents because they wouldn’t speak to me, at least Mom wouldn’t,” he amended, and Magnus saw the pain in his eyes. “Clary had gone to find something for Simon and I was left with just Jocelyn and Luke and I realized that I don’t have anything in my life I can rely on right now. My parents don’t want anything to do with me, my family is falling apart, the Clave doesn’t trust me and Izzy after all the time we’ve been going rogue, and looking at them, Luke and Jocelyn, the way they’ve lived nearly two decades denying themselves over nothing, really...” 

Alec shook his head, hands tightening on Magnus in a way that sent a shiver down Magnus’s spine. “I realized doubt isn’t worth it,” he said, looking into Magnus’s eyes. “You were right about not knowing what the future holds. Everything is falling apart, the entire world hangs in the balance right now, and it is so stupid to let some stupid doubts about the future keep me from being with you.” He licked his lips and Magnus’s fingertips tingled with magic seeping out as his focus slipped. “Hesitancy won’t help anything. Slowing things down changes nothing other than the chance that I could die with regrets about you.” He leaned his head forward, pressing their brows together. “I don’t want to waste my time on space when that’s just an excuse for me to keep being afraid of finally having what I want for once.”

Magnus shivered as he saw the fire in Alec’s eyes. “There’s nothing wrong with you needing time, you know? Don’t get me wrong, you are not at all unwelcome at the moment, but you shouldn’t try to force yourself to get over hesitancy. You’re right, things are crazy, and if what you want is me, then great. But if you aren’t sure, I can wait on you needing space.”

Alec smiled slowly, shaking his head, making their noses bump. “I’m not forcing myself into anything. And there’s too much space between us right now already.” He tugged Magnus in until their bodies were fully flush, making Magnus’s pulse beat under his skin where his chest fitted against Alec’s body. “I won’t let fear and ‘what if’s ruin a chance at being close to you.” Alec lips brushed Magnus’s as he spoke and Magnus was already sure they were as close as they could be at the moment. “I would rather have whatever time I can with you than risk never having you at all,” he whispered, and Magnus licked his lips, noting that Alec shivered when his tongue brushed Alec’s lip as he did so.

“You already have me, Alexander,” he breathed. “You’ve had me since the moment you smiled at me.” Magnus slid his hands from Alec’s shoulders to his neck and up into his hair. “I’m yours, however you want me.”

Magnus was startled less by Alec dragging him into a hungry kiss than he was by Alec using his hold on his body to _pick him up_. Magnus moaned into the kiss, wrapping his legs around Alec’s middle. Magnus was surprised to say the least, because he was fairly certain their kiss last night had been Alec’s first kiss ever, but Alec was right about how, if they both wanted each other, there was no reason to be hesitant. Even if the world wasn’t at a tipping point with the entire future hanging in the balance, Alec’s whole life toed the line between life and death on a regular basis. Yes, there were things they should talk about, and so many things Magnus wanted to learn about Alec, and things he wanted to let Alec learn about him.

But all of that could wait, because Magnus had never wanted anybody as much as he wanted Alec, and it was pretty obvious that, virgin or not, Alec knew what he wanted, too. 

Their hungry, devouring kisses didn’t break until Magnus’s back slammed against the wall beside the door. He gasped, pulling away to look at Alec, whose eyes were full of hunger and affection and something that Magnus was pretty sure they both knew the name of but weren’t ready to address. Alec dove in, kissing along his jaw to his neck, making Magnus arch and gasp. “ _Oh_.” He pulled Alec’s hair, hips jerking against Alec as Alec’s teeth scraped a sensitive spot on his throat. “Alexander!”

Alec spun him away from the wall and Magnus clung to him, startled by the lack of wall to press against, moaning when Alec kissed him again as he sat him on the table by the door, knocking a houseplant and abstract metal sculpture to the floor as his hands explored Magnus’s body. Magnus couldn’t bring himself to give a fuck about what might be broken as Alec’s hands deftly undid the buttons of his pajama top, leaving it hang open between them before it slid down Magnus’s arms and dropped onto the tabletop. Magnus wasted no time shoving Alec’s shirt up, neither of them wanting to break their kisses. When it got to Alec’s armpits and stopped, Alec simply _reached up and ripped the shirt down the middle_ , shrugging it off his shoulders. If Magnus hadn’t already been turned on, Alexander tearing his own clothes off definitely would’ve done the trick. Magnus whimpered, leaning in to suck and lick at Alec’s bared chest, nails digging into Alec’s hips as he held him between his thighs. 

After just moments, Alec hitched him up off the table, holding him with one arm around his waist and the other in Magnus’s hair as he carried him again. Magnus’s eyes shut as he devoured Alec’s clumsy mouth, and he was surprised to find himself set this time on the desk just outside his bedroom doors. He started to use magic to fling his bedroom doors open, but he was distracted by Alec pushing him onto his back, leaning over him so that he could grab Magnus’s pajama pants and tug them down his hips. Magnus stared up at the ceiling, chest heaving as he obligingly maneuvered his legs so that Alec could remove his bottoms more easily, and the reward he got was Alec _kissing from his knee, up his body, back to his mouth_ only skipping the small area of skin that was still covered by Magnus’s underwear. His hips bucked when Alec mouth skated over his nipple, but Alec kept going until he was kissed Magnus again, strong hands curling around Magnus’s bare thighs. 

This time, Magnus was ready when Alec picked him up again, and he clung to him, tugging at Alec’s hair while he rocked against him, moaning breathlessly as he snapped his fingers and Alec’s jeans disappeared from his body and landed on the floor just inside his bedroom instead. Alec grinned against his lips and Magnus laughed roughly when Alec spun them around and went straight into Magnus’s room, only knocking a few things off the dresser when he slammed Magnus against it when he stumbled. Magnus cried out, and Alec paused, eyes widening in worry that he had hurt Magnus, but Magnus didn’t cry out from pain. He shook his head, panting as he thrust his hips forward some, pointing out that when he fell into the dresser, his body had pressed right against Magnus’s cock. 

“Fuck, Alexander,” he panted, whining when Alec repeated the motion, grinding their hips together. Magnus whimpered, nails digging into Alec’s shoulders even as his back bruised from the drawer handles of the tall dresser digging into him as Alec thrust against him up on such an uneven surface. “My- My bed. Let me just-“ He dropped his legs and Alec let him go, watching as Magnus slid out from between him and the dresser to go grab at the silk sheets he _did not_ need to get dirty. He dragged them into a bundle and gasped when Alec grabbed his hips from behind and pulled him upright, one hand going from his hip to his chest, the other anchoring him.

“I don’t care if you do it with magic,” Alec panted against the back of his neck and Magnus’s eyes fluttered as Alec used the hold on his body to grind against his ass. With nothing but two thin layers of fabric separating their skin, Magnus could feel _every inch_ of Alec’s cock grinding against him. “You’re so hot when you do magic.”

Magnus gasped and whimpered when the hand on his chest moved to his nipple and the hand on his hip curled over the bulge in his underwear, palming him as Alec thrust against his backside. “Oh God, fuck, Alec, please!” he breathed, and with a snap of his fingers he removed the too-fragile sheets and the last stitches of clothing on their bodies. The feeling of a bare cock brushing along his ass made him positively itch for more. “Oh please tell me you want-“

Alec grabbed him by the waist and, in a very impressive moment of strength and agility, picked him up, spun him around, and tossed him onto the bed all in one move. He stood, looking down at Magnus where he lay sprawled on the bed, and Magnus _actually_ (and ashamedly) drooled slightly when he looked Magnus over for a second and then crawled up the bed after him “I want,” he said in a strong, deep voice that made Magnus think of how Alexander Lightwood was a leader, a warrior, and a man who had more strength of character than anybody Magnus probably had ever known. Magnus knew that others, and he himself at some points, forgot that lack of experience with love and sex didn’t take away from the fact that Alec was a grown man with the life experiences of one, not a child playing at adulthood like the others actually were.

Alec crawled between his knees and grabbed his leg, tugging him into the middle of the bed beneath Alec, then simply kissed him, pressing him down into the bed without another word. Magnus arched, moaning into the kiss as Alec’s body covered his. His nerves were alight with sensation in a way he hadn’t felt in a very, very long time, if ever. Where Alec’s legs brushed his inner thighs, tingles erupted, dancing their way straight to Magnus’s spine, where Alec’s chest pressed against his, his skin prickled with heat, and where his hands clung to Alec’s broad back, his pulse thudded in each fingertip where they pressed into Alec’s skin. Alec’s lips sucked and bit and kissed along his throat and Magnus knew he would have bruises tomorrow, but didn’t give a fuck. If Alec stopped, he might cry. 

“Can I?” Alec whispered against his skin, and Magnus wasn’t sure what he meant for a moment until Alec’s hand slid along the outside of his thigh and around to his ass, grabbing and squeezing it pointedly.

Magnus nodded, nearly choking on a breath. “Yes, I- Lube is- oh screw it.” Magnus twirled his fingers and then Alec found a bottle of lube in his eye line, on the bed beside Magnus, right beside a few condoms. 

Alec wasted no time on nerves, and Magnus would be impressed if he wasn’t too insanely turned on. Alec rolled off of Magnus and took the lube, pulling Magnus into his side. Magnus wasted no time wrapping one leg around Alec, even as he lay beside him, kissing him hungrily. Alec hooked a hand around Magnus’s knee and rolled fully onto his back, pulling Magnus on top of him, looking up into his eyes as he reached down to prepare him. Magnus panted some, tucking his head into Alec’s chest as Alec’s fingers slid into him without hesitancy. Magnus wanted to ask how Alec knew how well what he was doing, but the moment he opened his mouth to speak, the mental image of Alec exploring his own body with those long, thick fingers made Magnus’s throat close up. It made sense that Alec probably had plenty of experience touching himself so he knew just how to touch Magnus, and man, that was something Magnus would have to see one day. 

Magnus was writhing in Alec’s arms by the time Alec finally removed his fingers, making Magnus grumble unhappily. “God, you’re so beautiful,” Alec said roughly. “The way you want me is- it’s-“ He swallowed thickly and Magnus nodded, kissing him quickly.

“I know, I know, Alexander.” He grinned. “The way you want me is just as hot, believe me.” He rolled away and reached for a condom, only to yelp when Alec pulled him back, firmly against his front. He giggled when Alec made a grumpy sound against his neck. “Sorry. Next time I move away from you, I’ll warn you,” he joked and Alec just smiled against his skin.

Alec plucked the condom from his fingers and Magnus tried to pull away to turn around, but Alec held him firmly, only pulling his hips back some. Magnus let his eyes fall shut for a moment, just breathing as he lay still, even after Alec removed both hands to put on the condom, trying to settle the shaking in his body. Magnus was already shaking like he was going to come any minute, and he refused to be the one to come embarrassingly fast when he’d had sex more times in his life than Alec had probably had showers in his. “You okay?” Alec asked, and Magnus realized he wasn’t doing such a good job at stopping the shivering. Alec’s body molded against his again, hand sliding along his side and stomach, which did nothing for how turned on he was. “Magnus?”

Magnus laughed weakly. “I’ll be fine once you get in me,” he said, reaching back to grab a handful of Alec’s ass, grinding back against his cock.

“I can do that,” Alec whispered against his ear, making him shudder. Magnus looked over his shoulder and met Alec’s eyes, only to have his mouth fall open as Alec pushed his top leg forward and _slid into him while holding his gaze_. Magnus’s breath stopped entirely as Alec groaned, low and hoarse and hot, as he filled him up entirely. Magnus had known how big Alec was, but this angle, for some reason, made every inch of Alec inside of him feel absolutely overwhelming. Alec’s eyes slid shut and he leaned his head against Magnus’s temple, gritting his teeth as he just stayed inside for a moment. Magnus reached down for the punishing grip on his thigh and pulled Alec’s hand up to his chest, tangling their fingers together.

“Oh Alec, you feel-“

“Every time you speak you clench, and if you keep it up, I’m going to come,” Alec said in an absolutely wrecked voice. Magnus shivered at that tone and worked on breathing and relaxing some. He didn’t want it over too soon, even if he knew Alec wasn’t going to manage to last that long anyways, so he relaxed, trying to wait for Alec to grow more used to the feeling so he could give Magnus what he wanted. “Fuck, Magnus,” he groaned, kissing Magnus sloppily when he turned to meet his mouth. Alec began to slowly rock into Magnus, and Magnus nodded encouragingly, unable to do much more.

Magnus could feel every nerve ending in his body firing as Alec skated his hand down his side and around to briefly touch his cock before bypassing where he wanted Alec’s hand most to curl around his thigh. Magnus would be frustrated if it didn’t all feel _so good_. Alec made him feel more with every touch than he had felt in centuries. It was like he was being touched for the first time and every single brush of skin overwhelmed. He could feel his magic breaking free in some spots and opened his eyes long enough at one point to see purple sparks dancing up Alec’s arms. He would worry normally, since that was very unusual, but his magic liked Alec, so he knew it wasn’t dangerous. If anything, the insane amount of sensation was probably more due to his magic reacting to Alec than the actual, physical touch.

Alec chuckled roughly and Magnus turned his head to look Alec in the face, but he saw that Alec’s gaze was turned to his hand where it say on Magnus’s hip. Magnus felt embarrassed by the golden haze sparkling around Alec’s hand, but Alec just seemed amused, not scared or freaked out, so Magnus said nothing. Alec kissed his shoulder, increasing the pace of his thrusts and the force with it. “Magnus, you-“

“Yes,” Magnus blurted out, swallowing hard. He had no idea what he was saying yes to, but Alec fucking him harder and faster was more than welcome. “Oh _God_ , yes,” Magnus groaned as Alec pushed him nearly over onto his belly, laying over his body more. Magnus’s knee was still hitched up, which was all that kept him from being fully facedown, but Alec’s weight crushed him into the mattress so that he couldn’t move if he tried. Alec wasn’t too heavy, though, his massive weight was welcome. Magnus felt no pain, he didn’t feel trapped, he trusted Alec with every fiber of his being, and being pinned down with no way to move an inch was welcome when it was Alec on top of him, fucking him harder and harder. “Oh God, Alec, please,” he begged, curling his chin to his chest. His voice muffled by the pillow so that the rest of his strangled pleas and moans were just noises lost into the pillow. 

“Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Magnus,” Alec growled into his ear as he gave Magnus every inch of himself. Magnus couldn’t get a hand beneath his body to grab his cock and neither could Alec, but as Alec used the slight-leverage of his legs pressed into the bed on either side of Magnus’s straightened leg and the grip he had on Magnus’s bent leg, he fucked Magnus so hard and fast Magnus couldn’t stop the string of babbling sounds being lost into the pillow beneath his face. “You- you’re- Magnus, I- _Angel_ , Magnus, you’re mine,” Alec choked out. “I want you, I want you for however long I can have you, I want you more than I care about anything else. I want to keep you. You’re mine and I’m yours,” Alec babbled, and Magnus could have never guessed that Alec would be wordy in bed, but he also would’ve never guessed Alec would have him right on the brink of coming without touching his cock. “Please, I- _oh_!” 

Magnus turned his head and let out a strangled cry of, “Yes, yes, harder, right there, please, don’t stop, don’t stop!” and Alec’s nails dug into his thigh as he gave Magnus every ounce of strength he had as he fucked him, making Magnus’s eyes roll. “Take me, take me, I want you, Alec!” he sobbed out, pleasure going to his brain in a way he hadn’t ever felt before. He didn’t even realize that the spots of light dancing in front of his eyes were _actually there_ until he saw that they came from _his skin_. Alec let out a rough, hoarse cry and, in his last harsh, uncontrolled thrusts as he came, Magnus fell right over the edge himself, whining wordlessly as his body jerked and shuddered in an orgasm that didn’t seem like it would ever end until the lights grew blinding and Magnus’s body seemed to disconnect from his mind and everything went blank.

When Magnus came back to himself, he was lying on his back and Alec’s head lay on his chest while blue and gold lights floated lazily around the room. Magnus blinked a few times and then startled, sitting up halfway as he held up a hand to freeze the lights. He looked at Alec, who gave him such an open, earnest, loving smile. “Oh God,” Magnus said hoarsely, cheeks flaming. “I- It’s- I swear that doesn’t-“ Alec laughed and Magnus ducked his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

Alec shook his head, propping up on his elbow to stroke a hand along Magnus’s abs. “Don’t be embarrassed,” he soothed, leaning in to kiss Magnus sweetly.

Magnus made the lights disappear with a snap and fell back onto the bed, pulling his hands over his face. “I am so sorry for my magic. I swear it has a mind of its own. It wasn’t me,” he defended, voice muffled by his palms.

Alec laughed softly and snuggled into his side. Magnus felt Alec pull his hands down and he looked over to see a small, affectionate smile on Alec’s lips. “I trust you and your magic, Magnus.” He brushed a kiss to Magnus’s cheek. “It was doing that the whole time. Sparks across our skin, lights in the room, all of it.”

Magnus rolled his eyes. “I’m High Warlock of Brooklyn, even life-affirming sex shouldn’t make me lose control of my magic.”

Alec’s lips twitched with humor. “Life-affirming, huh?” he asked and Magnus narrowed his eyes, rolling onto his side to face Alec fully.

“Yeah, about that,” he said with playful accusation. “Not that I care either way, but what happened to ‘last night was my first kiss’, because that was not the kind of sex I expected from a virgin.”

Alec grinned, leaning in to peck his lips. “Not a virgin anymore,” he teased and Magnus gave him an annoyed look, making him snicker. “I cheated,” he admitted easily. Magnus raised an eyebrow and Alec gestured to his rune-covered body. “Accuracy, stamina, knowledge, and technique.”

Magnus actually stared at him for a moment before bursting into laughter. He curled into Alec’s arms, hugging him close. “Oh my God, you cheated your first time. I love it. You’re a smart cookie,” he said, tipping his chin up to kiss Alec sweetly. “I didn’t even know that worked that way.”

Alec shrugged. “I didn’t either, and I’m not sure it did, really. I mean, stamina for sure, no way I would’ve lasted that long without it, but the rest, it might’ve just been how your magic made you so responsive with every touch.”

Magnus gave him a smirk, sliding his leg to curl over Alec’s hip. “Could be, but no matter the reason, you made me have an orgasm strong enough I actually blacked out for a moment. That leaves an impression on anybody, even a warlock,” he said flirtatiously, sliding his hand up into Alec’s hair. His smile softened and he pressed their noses together. “Not that you wouldn’t have left an impression anyways. You’re my Alexander.” He pecked his lips. “You could’ve been incredibly mediocre and it would’ve still been wonderful.”

“Yeah, but still, making you come so hard you go incoherent is a point of pride for me,” Alec countered teasingly. “So I’m gonna stick with that,” he said and Magnus snickered at him. Alec’s eyes grew more affectionate and he kissed him sweetly. “I meant it, though. When I said I don’t want to waste any time on doubts.” He stroked a hand along Magnus’s flank. “I can’t count on much right now, but the one thing I’m sure about is that I want you.” He shook his head. “For however long I can have you, whether we all die tomorrow or whether we break up in six months or whether I get decades with you.” He looked into Magnus’s eyes with so much conviction in his gaze that Magnus’s throat closed up and he fought the tingling in his nose and the burn in the corners of his eyes. “I can’t give up the chance at something amazing with you, Magnus Bane. You make me feel things I didn’t know I could feel. I’m not saying I’m in love with you yet, but I thought I was in love before and yet what I felt for you after days of knowing you was so much more than anything I knew I could feel.” He smiled, stroking Magnus’s hair back from his face tenderly. “I would be stupid to waste my shot at finding out what this could be.”

Magnus nodded, sliding his fingertips along Alec’s jaw. “Darling, everything I said that night you stayed for a drink was true. I haven’t allowed myself to feel anything for over a century, and yet you walked into my life and immediately, something shifted. I didn’t even know if you were interested in men or if I was barking up the wrong tree, but my heart yearned for you. Every time I saw you, I felt like my day was worth something.” He tapped his bottom lip with a small smile, watching Alec roll his eyes. “I forgot how much I miss the feeling of falling for someone. And I’m definitely falling for you.” 

Alec exhaled slowly and kissed Magnus sweetly. “I won’t regret this, whatever there is between us, no matter what happens. This is a good thing and I trust in that.” He smiled teasingly and winked. “And I don’t just mean the sex.”

Magnus hummed flirtatiously. “Not that the sex is anything to discount. That was really good sex, if I do say so myself,” he joked. He closed his eyes, snuggling into Alec’s arms. “This is definitely a good thing, Alexander. It might be the best thing.”

Alec kissed his forehead. “Hold off on that until you see all the bruises tomorrow. I’m pretty sure we’re both going to look like we kicked each other’s ass instead of made love.”

Magnus just snickered from his spot with his head on Alec’s chest, cuddling closer as Alec’s strong arms curled around him so he could settle in and go to sleep.


End file.
